I have continued to be in a kind of funk this week. I tried to keep up with my "if I am going to be achy, I want it to be for a reason" attitude on Tuesday. I lit up the BBQ and filled in up with enough chicken for both our dinner and a week's worth for Sunny and Simba. While the chicken cooked, I began cleaning the laundry/mud room. I was already tired but once I started, I could not stop until it was done. When I finally finished, everything below my knees was throbbing and I had lost my appetite. But that completely exhausted feeling was nice and I slept unbelievably well.
I was definitely feeling all the work I did once I woke up on Wednesday and the pain in my hands only got worst over the day. The one thing getting me through it was the thought of the massage I had scheduled in the evening. By the time I left for the appointment, I could not even use my left hand to turn the steering wheel. It was the worst flare that I have experienced since being diagnosed and every movement or touch caused unbelievable pain. I described it to Rommel like throwing a stone in the water. The initial hit did not cause the pain but the ripples in the water were awful. I ended up wearing a compression glove and a wrist guard just to try minimize the movement, which helped a tiny bit.
I was able to sleep in this morning since it was my day off. It felt like there was nothing ever wrong with my hand in the first place, but I was nauseous and had a fever again. I honestly felt like I could stay in bed the rest of the day and watch TV, but I had to get up to run a couple of errands.
I came home and life decided to throw me a little curve ball to get me going. Apparently there was too much food stuffed in our freezer and the vent was covered up, which meant it began to defrost. Four rolls of cookie dough were included in all that food, so I figured I would pull them out and start baking. I ended up making a couple batches of sugar cookies and chocolate chip cookies. Unfortunately this is all I was left with:
The oven was set to 375, but when I smelled something burning and opened the oven, the thermometer read 500. I cooled it down and the next batch baked fine, but then the temperature went back up again and burned the last batch. It didn't work out the best, but at least I was doing something.
I crawled into bed again, but even though I still felt kind of depressed, just lying there was so boring. I considered my options and decided to water the plants in the backyard. Next thing I know I am spending an hour digging into the ground and trying to straighten a tree we planted last summer. I was dirty and sweaty when I finished, but it was a good tired and I felt better than I have all week. It is rather hard to see the tree in this picture, but I was so proud of the work I put in that I had to take one.
I not only still learning to deal with the pain I feel at the present moment, but I am also trying to come to terms with the idea that there will be more flares in the future which can be pretty depressing at times. But like my day today, just because something starts out gloomy does not mean it has to end that way.