Thursday, October 22, 2009

Family Vacation

We have seen dolphins and seals from our window. We have been boogie boarding in the chilly ocean water (and I swallowed a lot of the ocean water). We have been on very, very long walks every morning (4 miles long in case you were wondering) and toured the town. We have made special trips for milkshakes and peanut buster parfaits (I missed dairy queen sooooooooooo much, good thing we went on all those walks). There has also been a major amount of reading and relaxing. All my idea of a great vacation! Okay, to be honest I could go with the walking part but at least I will not have gained ten pounds when I get back.

Rommel had to leave early which was not part of the original vacation plan. We found out that his brother was coming in town for a wedding over the last few days of our trip and he needed someone to pick him up, etc. Rommel, being the wonderful person he is, volunteered to pick him up, let him use his car while he is in town, and then drop him off at the airport when he leaves. I completely understand it, but it still kind of blows since we only see my family twice a year.

Anyway, he left around eight last night and the rest of us watched Ghost Hunters, one of my favorite shows. I normally do not have too much of a problem watching ghost shows, but I decided to continue watching TV after everyone else headed to bed and I could not stop looking at the windows. I kept getting a creepy feeling and ended up running for my bedroom without turning out any lights. Once the windows were locked and the shades were drawn, I tried to sleeps, but it wasn't really happening for me. I had agreed to walk with my parents again this morning, but I was too exhausted. I made a mental note to only watch ghost shows when Rommel is home from now on.

We hit the farmers market today and a few little shops along the harbor. I got these fabulous ceramic day of the dead skulls that were hand painted and a few gifts for the people covering my job at work.

Once we were home I read for a few hours and then decided to take a walk on the beach by myself. It is so nice to take my shoes off and walk through the tide, the water soaking the bottom of my sun dress. Every time the tide went out it would sweep the sand from underneath my feet leaving this empty space. That's kind of what it feels like knowing this vacation is almost over, like something has been sweeping the time out from under me before I am ready.

Enough over thinking things! I still have two full days left and I intend to make the most of them.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

First day of vacation - Awesome!

We arrived in Oceanside yesterday afternoon and met up with my parents, my sister, and my sister's boyfriend. After a late dinner, everyone fell asleep pretty early, which meant we all woke up early this morning.

I got out of bed to use the restroom and found my parents and sister hanging out in the living room. I sat down with them and before we knew it almost an hour had passed. It was just so nice to sit around and talk about miscellaneous stuff like how our pets try to sneak food while we eat. We did not talk about anything serious or important, but it is a morning I would not give up for anything.

Rommel and I agreed to take a walk on the beach with my parents later in the morning. I had serious doubts that I would be able to walk as quickly as them let alone as far because my mom is a master power walker who walks at least four miles a day, but it doesn't hurt to try. Or so I thought.

We were not able to head out to the beach right away because the tide was hitting the breakers along the shore. We headed out on the first street from the beach and I was able to make it to the coffee shop, which was my parents' goal. They got some coffee and pastries before taking a seat on the pier for a short rest. Then we had to head back home, which is when my glutes started to ache. A few more blocks and my thighs started to burn. I kept shouting in my head "work through the pain, work through the pain!!!!" That ugly wooden fish on our beach rental was an absolutely wonderful site.

After a long bath to sooth my throbbing muscles and a short nap, we all headed out to the beach. Josh and Rachel braved the cold water to go boogie boarding while my mom and I played Frisbee. Even though neither of us can throw or catch a Frisbee, we had quite a bit of fun and entertained everyone else.

We were lucky enough to be able to celebrate Josh's birthday with him this year, so we wanted to make it really special. Dad barbecued dinner and Rommel and I bought an Oreo blizzard cake from Dairy Queen. We all sat down for a great dinner and watched Josh open his presents. He is a man of few words, but I think he really enjoyed it.

It's hard to believe this was all just the first day, but I am glad we are able to enjoy every moment together. It will go too fast; it always does.

Rainy Days

How can you not have a good day when you have the rare opportunity to where such fabulous rain boots?

Monday, October 5, 2009

Rage Against the Meshugenah

I read this great book by Danny Evans entitled Rage Against the Meshugenah:Why It Takes Balls to Go Nuts. There was one particular entry that really stuck with me because it was like he was describing my struggle with anxiety not just his experience battling depression.

He talks about how he decided to try out for the track team in high school, but he was not in shape and had difficulty.

The first time I dared to brave an actual oval dirt track, I had my hands on my knees before a single lap. It hurt to breathe. I assumed at that moment that I simply lacked the stamina to endure something that long, that grueling, that intense.

Depression proved that hypothesis wrong. Recovery is a marathon. You stand at the starting line dressed in your fly Nike running gear. Your legs are muscular, your face awash with confidence and determination. Pop! The starter's pistol fire, but you can't move. The other runners take off past you, stepping around you, some of them cursing at your immobility. With you hands you grab your hamstring and physically move your right leg forward a step. It's infuriating. has the asphalt turned to quicksand? Have your shoes turned to granite? Each day you take one step, and when that day is over, you're completely out of gas. It's hard, tedious labor. You want to quit. You want to give in to your exhaustion, to just live down on the ground and let the heat radiating up from the asphalt burn your pain away. Why no just succumb? Wouldn't that be so much easier? Yes. Of course it would.

And that is what my life feels like lately, a whole lot of work that gets me almost no where. But my hope is in that word almost. The progress may be small, so small no one else even notices it, but it is progress.

There is one big difference in our experiences though. I would rather shot myself in the foot than go running.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Making my life easier...

I have a lot of artwork hanging in my house. Clean white walls are just the perfect way to showcase my eclectic collection of Andy Warhols, local artists' work, and other pieces. The problem is that each time I get a new piece, I feel the need to rearrange everything. I never get it right the first time and I will obsess over it until I get them the exact way I want them. It takes a lot of time to rehang everything and I end up putting quite a few holes in the walls.

So I began looking online for a system to hang all the artwork I have without having to get out a hammer and nails every single time. I was frustrated at first because even though most of the rails are cheap, the cables and clips can be really expensive, especially if you need to buy quite a few of them.

Finally I found the perfect gallery system called the Jrail. It was extremely simple to put up and blends into the white wall. There were a couple of choices for both the cables and clips depending on how much weight you are hanging, but since I do not have anything that is too heavy, I was able to go with the cheaper option.

In the end I spent about a hundred dollars for two six foot rails and around fifteen cables and clips. I actually bought a couple extra cables and clips in case I lose one at some point and will not have to order more. For the amount of wall space it covers, I think it was a good buy. The best part was that it only took me about fifteen minutes to arrange each wall, including leveling them all out. That is seriously a record for me and I was over the moon that it was so freaking easy.

Other than the spots where you can see the spackle from the holes I had to fill, I think it looks pretty fabulous.


My favorite holiday to decorate for is definitely Halloween. Yes, Christmas is fun too, but Halloween is crazy fun. I put up a ton of lights, including black and orange garland and a lit spiderweb. Rommel thinks I went overboard, put I did not even put all the decorations I had out. Other than a guy in a huge truck, who was obviously compensating for something, yelling "it's not Halloween yet you whore," I received some really nice complements from people walking by, so I am really happy.

I will have to take another picture during the day so all the signs and other little decorations are visible. There is plenty more than just lights.