Saturday, May 17, 2008

This Calls for Drastic Measures

I woke up this morning and was excited to wear my new "My Dog Is a Rescue" t-shirt I recently bought from PETA. Maybe I just don't have the most exciting life, but I love little things like that. Rommel was getting all the laundry ready and I only had one pair of clean jeans, so I grabbed them. Guess what? They didn't fit! Well, technically they did, but I would be embrassed to wear them in public. I refuse to buy a larger size, I refuse!

I have always been "bigger" and I will be the first to say that I have gained a lot of weight over the last couple of years. I am an emotional eater and between my husband's health and my panic disorder, food has been an extremely big part of my life lately. If I am feeling depressed or worried, I go for carbs. But that's not the only problem with the way I eat and I know that.

As for exercise, I walk everywhere I need to go for daily things. I walk to work, the grocery store, Starbucks, even the pet store. We only drive on the weekends when we go to the farmers market, etc. I have been doing quite a bit of gardening too. But I need to do more than that.

Another huge part of the equation is stress. I am just one of those people who doesn't really have anything to be stressed about, but manages to be crazy stressed out all the time. That is a large reason why I am having panic attacks again and dealing with health issues such as TMJ (teeth clenching), migraines, and back pain. Stress causes you to put on weight and not be able to lose it.

But my clothes are not the only reason I need to lose weight. I have some health issues and my self esteem is pretty low when it comes to my body. It didn't help that my mother-in-law asked me if I was pregnant the other day, although it gave me quite a bit of material for jokes about my weight.

So I am going to come up with a plan this weekend with my husband's help and the doctor's input. No pills, etc., just eating right, exercising, and relaxation techniques. Hopefully this blog will help me stick to it when I am feeling tired or unmotivated.

So here is the part where I tell you my current weight. I honestly feel like I could cry putting it up here, but I need to do it. As of this morning I weigh 218 pounds.

Now it's time to get my butt in gear and lower that number!

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