When I first developed Rheumatoid Arthritis my anxiety level was pretty high. I was going out for errands and little things, but definitely not restaurants or other crowded places. Lets just say that my social calender was not packed with commitments.
After working with a hypnotist for the last few months, I have felt more and more comfortable going out or at least want to put myself out there a little more.
Now I am experiencing a whole new problem, dilemma, whatever you want to call it. Each time we have gone out, it takes so much out of me physically that I spend days recovering from it. One of the best examples I can give is when we went to the flea market this past Sunday. After four hours at the flea market, I was basically a walking zombie by the time we got home. We ate a quick lunch and then I crashed in bed for several hours. I tried to relax the rest of the day, but was suffering from a migraine and a lot of joint/muscle pain. The past two days have pretty much been the same. I struggle to get through a whole day of work without too much pain medication and then crash the rest of the evening. This is pretty much what happens every time - days of recovery.
This whole thing has got me second guessing chances to get out. A coworker's band is playing at the Viper Room later this month and I bought tickets for Rommel and I. I cannot help but go back and forth in my mind about whether it will be worth the energy and the recovery time. I keep telling myself that these opportunities are worth it and I will be so happy I went because I almost always am, but I can be very good at talking myself out of things too.
I just don't want RA to keep me from experiencing life the way my anxiety has. I will keep pushing myself not to miss out and if anything I will just have to plan better to allow myself the time to recuperate.