I was talking to my dad the other day when he mentioned that he would really like everyone together for Christmas in Illinois in the next couple of years. After our chat, every minute I was not involved in work, etc., I was thinking about what he said. I would love to be home for the holidays, but it has been out of the question the last few years since even the thought of an airport causes my heart to jump through my throat.
But I really want to have a snowy holiday with the ones I love again and be able to travel there without passing out in the ticket line for American Airlines. So I made the decision to look into other options to treat my anxiety. My therapist had suggested hypnotherapy since a car accident was the trigger to my anxiety disorder and hypnosis would be a way to tap into the emotions caused by the accident. I checked out hypnotherapy last year, but it could run $150 or more a session, so I quickly nixed the idea.
But I decided to look into it again and found a local practitioner with good reviews. I had a consultation with her today and I think that it went well. Even though I thought I was going to vomit when I walked in the door due to my anxiety, I felt quite a bit calmer once I sat down and started talking with her. She noticed my ice pack right away, which I constantly carry around with me because the coolness helps calm me down. The first thing she did was teach me a visualization to cool me down without having to carry around an ice pack, which was really interesting. She suggested imagining that I was in the shower and watching myself turning the water temperature colder and colder. I will definitely try it next time I am in a panic inducing situation.
We talked about the process and what hypnosis actually is. She usually suggests ninety minute sessions once a week for seven weeks to completely work on an issue. Then it came time for the cost and she told me she was not the cheapest hypnotherapist right out, but it would be less expensive if I decided to do the seven sessions instead of just one at a time. No matter which way you look at it though, it is expensive.
I walked out really torn because I want to explore all my options but I do not have money to throw away either. So I came up with a plan. Over the next two and a half months I will pull a small amount of money from each paycheck, which will equal half the cost. If during that time period I keep up with a decent diet, some exercise and listen to the relaxation CD I bought from her, Rommel agreed that we would withdraw the other half (he asked if they make guarantees though). This way there is no crazy withdraw from our accounts, I have time to see if the CD helps my stress levels, and I can do some research to decide if this is what I really want to do.
In the end, my dad said he was disappointed that I was not quacking like a duck. I guess you can't please everyone.