New Rules

Everyone I know could probably tell that I have been pretty depressed lately and if they know me really well they probably think it is due to the trials and tribulations of rheumatoid arthritis. But there is honestly a lot more to it than an illness.

I have always been a girl who likes things done well. For example, I am the one who shows up early and spends the whole time trying to make everyone happy.

But over the last two months I feel like I have deteriorated into a complete and utter mess. My home is a mess, my work is a mess, and my body is a mess. I don't even recognize myself anymore. Who is this person who can't get out of bed in the morning and would rather sleep than be out in the world? Who is this person that has become undependable and gets in trouble at work? Who is this old woman with achy joints that can't concentrate on anything?

The only time I have felt anything near content or even normal over the last few months is when I am curled up in bed with the pups and a book or spending time with Rommel.

Since my reality check at work, I have been thinking about how much I need an attitude adjustment or something along those lines.

And today is the perfect day to start changing things because this morning I was told that the lump in my breast is nothing to be worried about.

I recently read an interview with Elizabeth Gilbert. They asked her what she does to stay healthy and she said that she has ten rules that she lives by, such as not eating too much. What struck me was how simple and reasonable her rules were. I couldn't help but think that I should do something similar, but maybe start with just a few rules.

This is what I came up with:

• Everyday I need to acknowledge three things that I am grateful for and/or brightened my day.
• I will try to say hello to people more. (I know that I can seem pretty standoffish or unfriendly sometimes because I am lost in my head.)
• If I am physically able to take the dogs for a walk in the evening, I will. If not, I will spend the time lavishing extra attention on my babies, whether it be a good brushing or cuddling.

They may seem trivial to some people, but they are important to me and will hopefully help me keep a more positive attitude.

So here are the things I am grateful for and/or brightened my day today.

• My wonderful husband holding my hand at the doctor's while I try not to have a panic attack.
• Listening to the piano teacher in the apartments next to our house give lessons. I can't help but smile when I hear the theme song to Super Mario Brothers.
• Chocolate ice cream. (It doesn't always need to be deep.)

It's been a good day.