Burned Out

I had a really bad two weeks after taking my first, and last, dose of MTX. Then my husband and I had an amazing week off which we spent working on the house with my parents. I have spent the last week missing my parents, but feeling pretty energetic. Then today the temperature dropped and my hands and feet have rebelled against me.

I was feeling so good for a while there and then wham, my body lets me know that I should not get too comfortable. So I am a little tired and a little depressed, but mostly just burned out. I have not felt like reading my favorite blogs, let alone writing my own.

So for now I am going to curl up in the comfy footy pajamas my husband got me and hide for a while.

You know you have moved up in the world

when you find yourself owning one of these beautiful pieces of work.


Yes every box is full, but that includes supplements which I will take separately from my prescriptions so they do not interfere with them. Now I just need to remember to take everything throughout the day. I had a hard enough time remembering to take my plaquenil in the evening.

And just for fun - a picture of Zooey. She was obviously very overwhelmed with watching me fill up my new pill box. Not even six months old and my sarcastic nature has already rubbed off on her.

Preparations

I have been feeling so miserable that I moved my rheumy appointment up a month. I will write about how the actual appointment went in another post, but I ended up leaving the office with a prescription for methotrexate.

I knew methotrexate would be the next step if plaquenil was not doing the job, but I was not really prepared to walk out with the prescription. It's a serious drug and quite a bit of what I have read about methotrexate is truly scary stuff. The phamplet the doctor gave did little to settle my nerves either, especially when it began with "used to treat cancer" and "forced abortion for ectopic pregnancies."

Instead of going online and reading all the drug descriptions and side effects, the first thing I did was log onto RA Chicks. I figured that reading women's first hand experiences with methotrexate would be the best place to start. The number one thing I took away from the forums was that taking it is a question of whether the benefits outweigh the side effects.

Then I went to Rheumatoid Arthritis Warrior, which has a large section specifically on methotrexate. It was probably the best resource I have found to prepare me for taking methotrexate and definitely helped to calm me down.

After all my reading, I decided the best way to approach taking methotrexate is preparation. Obviously I cannot control how I will react to the drug, although they say those who expect the worst side effects are more likely to suffer from them, but I can try to make things as comfortable and easy as possible for myself.

So this is what I have done or am going to do before my first dose (a lot of these came from RA Warrior):

• Prescription for folic acid to take daily
• I got my first flu shot.
• Omeprazole magnesium (generic Prilosec) in case of heartburn, etc.
• Pink bismuth tablets (generic Pepto-Bismol) in case of nausea.
• Peppermint candy in case of metallic taste and nausea.
• Crackers and other comforting foods for an upset stomach.
• Cleaning - I have been trying to get on top of my cleaning so that I do not have to worry about it as much next week if I do not feel well. Swiffer and disinfectant wipes have become my new best friends.
• I have also been getting a little crazy about preventing infections, which I have read is important to do when on methotrexate. I loaded up on antibacterial hand gel and even bought one of those touchless soap dispensers.

I am going to take my first dose on Saturday evening. I know that sounds like a bummer of a weekend, but it will work out best for me. I will take it before I go to bed because they say you can sleep through the worst of the side effects and it will be far enough away from the time I take my other medications that they will not interact. Then I have Sunday off, so I can lounge in bed all day if I feel like it. I will also have my very own nurse, otherwise known as my husband.

I realize that my plans probably sound a little much, but since I started making them my anxiety level has gone down a little. And if I do happen to have a bad day on Sunday, then I will have everything I will need to take care of myself.

30 Things You May Not Know About My Invisible Illness

I found out about Invisible Illness Week, which happens to be this week, on Nessie's blog lipstick, perfume, and too many pills. After reading some of the articles and watching a couple of videos, I knew I wanted to participate.

The first way I decided to participate was to fill out "30 things you may not know about my invisible illness."

1. The illness I live with is: Rheumatoid Arthritis
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2010
3. But I had symptoms since: 2009
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: realizing that I will have to physically pay for anything I do. If I do too much around the house, I might be exhausted for the next couple of days. If I work in the garden, I will be in pain for hours or days.
5. Most people assume: I'm complaining and it can't be that bad.
6. The hardest part about mornings are: still being exhausted after a full night's sleep
7. My favorite medical TV show is: House
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: laptop - blogs are a big part of letting me know I am not alone in this
9. The hardest part about nights are: trying to fall asleep when I am uncomfortable due to pain
10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins. (No comments, please) 11
11. Regarding alternative treatments I: am completely open and looking, but I have realized that I must also embrace conventional treatments to prevent joint/bone problems in the future
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: I honestly don't know.
13. Regarding working and career: I love the people I work with and being busy. There is also the fact that I would probably be sitting on my ass, bored out of my mind at home if I did not have to get up each day. But sometimes it is just so exhausting and people do not know how difficult it is to get through a full day of work.
14. People would be surprised to know: quite a bit of the time I am trying really hard not to cry because of the pain or malaise
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: more limitations - I already limit myself a lot because of my anxiety and now it feels like there are just that many more things that are off limits
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: keep going - I know that millions of people keep going on with life each day despite their illness, but I was so overwhelmed at first I did not think I would end up being one of them.
17. The commercials about my illness: only show elderly women even though it is commonly women between 25 and 50 that develop RA
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: long walks with my husband, walking the dogs any time I wanted, taking on big projects at home
19. It was really hard to have to give up: taking on big DIY projects at home
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: I have always been a reader, but I have been going through books like crazy lately.
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: go on a long hike with my husband and the pups
22. My illness has taught me: I can't control everything and I need to stop trying so hard to be control all the time.
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: My (fill in with random body part) hurts sometimes. I think I have that too!
24. But I love it when people: tell me I have a great attitude.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: Smile, breathe, and go slowly - Thich Nhat Hanh
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: Don't believe everything people write or say about RA. When there is not a cure to an illness, people can basically say whatever they want.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: It has not been that long since my diagnosis, but I feel a push to do whatever I can to get healthy. It may not always be my number one priority, but it is more of one than ever before. Believe me, I never would have braved a swimsuit and got in the pool with a bunch of seventy year old women for an aquatics class before.
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: My husband becomes my nurse.
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: awareness and understanding is always a good thing
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: like I might have made a small difference

Los Angeles Zoo

Yesterday was a difficult day pain-wise, but the weather was so nice this morning that Rommel and I decided to go to the Los Angeles Zoo for a good walk. To be completely honest I have always been conflicted about zoos, but once I begin wondering around from exhibit to exhibit, I become enthralled just like all the children do. It began to get warm and I started to feel a little weak, so we only spent about sixty minutes there, but it was good exercise.

Here are some of the pictures I took -








I also took a video of the howler monkeys who were very, very vocal this morning.